How we went blind pt 1

So, I decided to tell you something very private, something no one in the whole world knows. But first, I'll trust you with another thing.
It's the story of my very first love and how I left him for some conservative prick who wasn't half as good, and how I ended up with the guy I'm with now.
I'm telling you this story hoping none of you will judge me, trust that I'm not some hoe. Knowing it is, in my condition, hard to know what you want.
I'm not saying schizophrenia is an excuse for treating people like I did, but all I'm saying is: schizophrenics have a harder time finding themselves, and that's why I should probably be alone for some time, but for some reason I just can't keep myself from bonding romantically with people, and I guess that's what ruined it from the start.

This will take some time for me to write but I feel like you should all know.